This Is it . This is how it was going to end I feel . I never ever thought it was going to be a big long fight, discussion , catharisis but always knew as everything till now it would be a very heartbreaking experience .
I don’t even know what I am writing about . I am just writing because I don’t wanna break the mirror in front of me, I don’t wanna speak out to my parents who will eventually find out some very bad things about me and be disheartened. And I don’t want to speak to any of my friends because they are all somehow very successful and wont comprehend my feelings well .
We all feel human life is the highest of all forms and that we are very lucky to be having the reasoning mind . as far as I can recollect somebody told me that after a lot many of livees as different creatures u r blessed with the human life . Is it ? really ? this is not a mere anti religion or human race bashing al right. It just struck to me just now. A different look at the different creatures ….
When we say animal behaviour or animal attitude or whatever wat do we usually say ? I mean what qualities of animals do we despise so much that we associate our worst fears with it? I try to list out a few things….
Animals do not care about who they are sleeping with, who they are loyal to sexually or otherwise
Animals look at everything from a daily perspective . earning bread is a daily activity .
Animals kill n/or eat anything that they end up liking .
Animals don’t understand humans much
Animals don’t move out of the herd , for them friendship is everything. Fame or progress means nothing to them .
They protect the ones who are going to or have protected them .
Are you following anything at all? If yes, please contact me because I am not !
There is so much pride at stake no ? I mean u r constantly on the hook .once u say something ,u have to like stick to it . god damn , if u say life is a constant learning process and all u r implying clearly that life is also about changing opinions everday . because everytime something hits u new u r bound to change what u thot about it before . see , the thing is so simple but how much of a opposite kind of mindset we harbour everyday !!
I mean today narendra modi accuses hemant karkare of bias while investigating the malegaon blast case and tomo he says he was a great servant who laid down his life for people’s security .i don’t understand why modi now becomes the villain all of a sudden !
For all u know both the things he said may be true .cant he be a little biased in his investigation and also being a great warrior has sacrificed himself. So does modi not have the right to speak both the things since first one remained unclear .and cant modi, (in all unlikeliness) have realized what a great proponent of indian police he was after he saw the last example of his bravery ?
Ah screw it I cant explain to u anymore !! I am a douche and so r u
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Some thoughts
Have you ever been in a situation where u felt "god i wished i dint know anything about it ". I have been there many times .let me tell u in detail .....
I think i can swear on my life and say that the most troubled people in this world are the ones who read a lot. Sometimes u feel doing drugs was a safer approach to life, but reading makes u an addict of PERFECTION. Every time i take a book i am literally afraid to start it u know thinking what new field in this world will get closed for me due to this book .For example the most influencing writer of my life has been AYN rand. When I started with the book "the fountainhead ", believe me I was a child in terms of mental growth. When one page after the other flew by in some situations it put me into tears due to the sheer coincidence of some characters with the way I deal situations in life. Especially one line where the victim of suffering says “I think it hurts u that u made me suffer, but what hurts u more is the knowledge that I have not suffered at all”. The very concept of suffering is finally in the hands of the victim. He should give it a sanction of suffering until then its nothing .Of course the issues of the individual , human ego ,objectivity ,all posed serious questions to the way I led and saw others leading their lives.
one thing I hate , people feel in the beginning that what they are reading is right , but they shut the book look around and think that even this way we are eating our daily bread and living, so probably this writer is too much of a idealistic freak and forget it. When you are influenced by something be man enough to accept it and especially when you are influenced by a writer. Most of this world is running because of the writing skills of the original people who wrote u r religion's sacred book.but when you are influenced by a contemporary writer we shy away may be because going by the converse , we would be giving him the position of god if we accepted it .
This way my next book was Atlas shrugged . It totally changed the way i look at life.And to my bad luck i joined a steel company two months after i finished reading it . The book though tries to project the purity of many professions viz, acing, music,engineering,physics,management. at the same time it takes a serious dig at one thing that affects all the professions , the overrating of altruism . I might seem an escapist here but believe me i lost interest in what i was doing due to the sheer coincidence that i observed again between the characters of the book and the functioning of my company . Especially the part where she explains about "the twentieth century motor company ", it explains the sad state of most(all) companies in the world and definitely in india.It also explains the reason as to why such a altruistic competitive behaviour will prove costly in the future . At this time as a reader you are shell shocked to know that this book was written in the 1930's because almost everything that's happening in today's world was spelt by her years ago. Terrorism , recession,the business of charity leading to all this is clearly outlined in the book . The righteous characters in the book are no less a lesson of life than the characters in that religious book of yours.
One more thing i hate, people make a distinction between characters, god, and human achievers. I don’t understand it because all that the three groups do in the first place is inspire normal human beings make the most of their time on earth and enjoy the fruits of their work. But for some people a character is just a dream of some person. They possibly think that anyone can dream such a person .If they think a little deeper they will realize that whatever u call as your god is also ultimately a character whose sole aim is to inspire you to lead a wonderful life.
As far as characters Vs human achievers are concerned I think a character has an advantage of having finished living in your imagination. He has reached the end in your mind. He will continue to be your inspiration forever. But think of the people who had idolized a Ramlinga raju , what a brutal shock they must have recieved ! They have to change their whole belief system from the scratch!!!
Then I read the book "The shape of the beast ". now in a way its quite an anti thesis of atlas shrugged but when I started reading it I was taken aback at the way we are apathetic to so many things in world just because we are not directly affected by it . before I read the book I literally thought arundhati roy was a freak and more than her was medha patkar and the NBA . i always knew that they wanted compensation against their lost homes but never knew the size , proportions of the man made disaster india was so gleefully financing. After i read that i clearly felt it was a debate between concrete evidence of a catastrophe and a misplaced sense of progress. It reminded me of the movie "blood diamond" which rips though the diamond industry's bloody origins and literally bargains the lives of millions for a well polished stone .ironically a week after i read the shape of the beast there was a job opening at the narmada hydro electric corporation . Something in me dint allow to apply for the job.
someday , somehow a thought crossed my mind that said"would i have been better off if i had not read these books?" These three books are only an example of the many many things that sting me against many professions every day . Uncountable number of news reports, real life stories, and people’s experiences that make me feel that should earning money always be accompanied with so much of selling yourself with utter disregard for your conscience? My own reply to it was to go in search of people who do it their way and are happy. Even for that I turned to the books I have read. the book by lance Armstrong, book on sachin tendulkar , the many many inspiring movies like the pursuit of happiness, beautiful mind , the story of people like Steve jobs , pixar .In the end i feel utterly confused of what to do for a living . i know i echo the feelings of atleast a billion others in the world but that doesnt make it any more cosy for me knowing that others too are in this situation . I am in this is what matters to me . I am not asking for your help but i am in this constant state of thinking about the two types of influences of this world's creative people on me . i am confused , but i am thinking . These people and books sure cut out many careers or create interest in many of the careers simultaneously but in the end they make you think . As miserable as i may sound in this post the truth is i love the fact that i am thinking and not feeding off other people's thoughts . I am creating a customized philosophy for my life. Everybody in the world should do it. We should stop our obsession with all people believing in one thing. It's time for customization, it will be a true tribute to our technological progress if philosophically we learn to customize and make our life comfortable.
I think i can swear on my life and say that the most troubled people in this world are the ones who read a lot. Sometimes u feel doing drugs was a safer approach to life, but reading makes u an addict of PERFECTION. Every time i take a book i am literally afraid to start it u know thinking what new field in this world will get closed for me due to this book .For example the most influencing writer of my life has been AYN rand. When I started with the book "the fountainhead ", believe me I was a child in terms of mental growth. When one page after the other flew by in some situations it put me into tears due to the sheer coincidence of some characters with the way I deal situations in life. Especially one line where the victim of suffering says “I think it hurts u that u made me suffer, but what hurts u more is the knowledge that I have not suffered at all”. The very concept of suffering is finally in the hands of the victim. He should give it a sanction of suffering until then its nothing .Of course the issues of the individual , human ego ,objectivity ,all posed serious questions to the way I led and saw others leading their lives.
one thing I hate , people feel in the beginning that what they are reading is right , but they shut the book look around and think that even this way we are eating our daily bread and living, so probably this writer is too much of a idealistic freak and forget it. When you are influenced by something be man enough to accept it and especially when you are influenced by a writer. Most of this world is running because of the writing skills of the original people who wrote u r religion's sacred book.but when you are influenced by a contemporary writer we shy away may be because going by the converse , we would be giving him the position of god if we accepted it .
This way my next book was Atlas shrugged . It totally changed the way i look at life.And to my bad luck i joined a steel company two months after i finished reading it . The book though tries to project the purity of many professions viz, acing, music,engineering,physics,management. at the same time it takes a serious dig at one thing that affects all the professions , the overrating of altruism . I might seem an escapist here but believe me i lost interest in what i was doing due to the sheer coincidence that i observed again between the characters of the book and the functioning of my company . Especially the part where she explains about "the twentieth century motor company ", it explains the sad state of most(all) companies in the world and definitely in india.It also explains the reason as to why such a altruistic competitive behaviour will prove costly in the future . At this time as a reader you are shell shocked to know that this book was written in the 1930's because almost everything that's happening in today's world was spelt by her years ago. Terrorism , recession,the business of charity leading to all this is clearly outlined in the book . The righteous characters in the book are no less a lesson of life than the characters in that religious book of yours.
One more thing i hate, people make a distinction between characters, god, and human achievers. I don’t understand it because all that the three groups do in the first place is inspire normal human beings make the most of their time on earth and enjoy the fruits of their work. But for some people a character is just a dream of some person. They possibly think that anyone can dream such a person .If they think a little deeper they will realize that whatever u call as your god is also ultimately a character whose sole aim is to inspire you to lead a wonderful life.
As far as characters Vs human achievers are concerned I think a character has an advantage of having finished living in your imagination. He has reached the end in your mind. He will continue to be your inspiration forever. But think of the people who had idolized a Ramlinga raju , what a brutal shock they must have recieved ! They have to change their whole belief system from the scratch!!!
Then I read the book "The shape of the beast ". now in a way its quite an anti thesis of atlas shrugged but when I started reading it I was taken aback at the way we are apathetic to so many things in world just because we are not directly affected by it . before I read the book I literally thought arundhati roy was a freak and more than her was medha patkar and the NBA . i always knew that they wanted compensation against their lost homes but never knew the size , proportions of the man made disaster india was so gleefully financing. After i read that i clearly felt it was a debate between concrete evidence of a catastrophe and a misplaced sense of progress. It reminded me of the movie "blood diamond" which rips though the diamond industry's bloody origins and literally bargains the lives of millions for a well polished stone .ironically a week after i read the shape of the beast there was a job opening at the narmada hydro electric corporation . Something in me dint allow to apply for the job.
someday , somehow a thought crossed my mind that said"would i have been better off if i had not read these books?" These three books are only an example of the many many things that sting me against many professions every day . Uncountable number of news reports, real life stories, and people’s experiences that make me feel that should earning money always be accompanied with so much of selling yourself with utter disregard for your conscience? My own reply to it was to go in search of people who do it their way and are happy. Even for that I turned to the books I have read. the book by lance Armstrong, book on sachin tendulkar , the many many inspiring movies like the pursuit of happiness, beautiful mind , the story of people like Steve jobs , pixar .In the end i feel utterly confused of what to do for a living . i know i echo the feelings of atleast a billion others in the world but that doesnt make it any more cosy for me knowing that others too are in this situation . I am in this is what matters to me . I am not asking for your help but i am in this constant state of thinking about the two types of influences of this world's creative people on me . i am confused , but i am thinking . These people and books sure cut out many careers or create interest in many of the careers simultaneously but in the end they make you think . As miserable as i may sound in this post the truth is i love the fact that i am thinking and not feeding off other people's thoughts . I am creating a customized philosophy for my life. Everybody in the world should do it. We should stop our obsession with all people believing in one thing. It's time for customization, it will be a true tribute to our technological progress if philosophically we learn to customize and make our life comfortable.
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